Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Really To Late To Be Blogging

Well here I am, curled up on my nice black and white bedspread, in my blue and gray P.J.s, with my silver laptop. Why the color schemes? Dunno. I bet your not really sure were I'm coming from right now, well, I'm not either. I feel both happy and sad. I'm happy for the future, which is very new for me. I am usually a secret pessimist, always worried about what lies ahead. That is why I withdraw myself from politics and popular culture so much, because according to television and movies, it all leads to certain doom. But the future does look bright for me, I have nice clothes, a nice family, a wonderful father with a decent job. And a God that loves me, what else do I need? Nothing, and that may be part of the sadness, it is the age-old dissatisfaction of the teenager, the feeling that your life is going nowhere. But where do I want it to go? Nowhere. I am happy were I am, I have a room to organize, books to write, clothes to make, movies to watch on the weekend, and, in general, a wonderful life to lead. Maybe it's something else, something that I just can't find the nerve to write here, my deeper but-really-so-dumb-and-kiddish-no-one-would-believe-me inner workings.*sigh* I'll go watch "The Muppet Show" now. I know from experience that it can be almost therapeutic when I'm in this kind of funk. It's that kind of thing that keeps me going sometimes-the familiar, nostalgic characters that seems more real to me than the everyday people I am so unsociable with. I have a real thing with obsessions that dominate my mind, that I can spend hours on the internet looking at. That I can write a BOOK about for goodness sake. There, that is, seriously as deep as I am. I hope this hasn't made a lasting impression on you, because although every word rings true I'm sure I will regret posting it tomorrow.

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