A Fly-By Review of "Inspector Gadget"- The Movie, and Some More Important Things.

I changed the title of this post. It was originally going to be something cutesy... something with "Wowzers" in it. And there is a reason I told you that, because it shows you just how serious I took writing this review. You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this, or how many reviews I already have saved as drafts- but my own laziness, self-consciousness, and the fact that I could never find a good movie that everyone I know hadn't already seen prevented me. Until the other night when I got all mad after watching LOST and decided to write about it- and people liked it, and it got off well, and I promised a review and...buried myself. I want you to know that I did not pick this movie from other choices as the best possible one to review, my sisters have been watching a lot of old "Inspector Gadget" cartoons recently, and in the midst of missing them when I was at Nina and Papa's for my birthday I decided it would be a good idea to rent the live-action movie. The last time I watched it was in 2007, when it kept coming on TBS. And for some reason, weird memories of Mom and Dad giggling at a few parts, coupled with a conversation I remember having with Dad in Cici's about what was like the cartoon and what wasn't, gave me the lasting impression that it was a funny, memorable family movie. But it obviously wasn't that memorable, or I would have remembered it for what it is; a cruddy, cruddy, direct-to-video film. So movie- I am going to review you. But not in the professional, analytical way I had originally intended- your not worth it. In more of a fly-by, heres-to-justify-all-the-mean-things-I'm-gonna-say way. And then I'm getting on with my life. The first thing that pulled me out of my illusion when I watched this, was the dialogue. It will make you cringe. And no, I'm not talking about Mathew Broderick (here is another good thing about movie reviews, you can use actor and actress's names as if you know them and all their work when you really don't, I've never seen another of Mathew Broderick's films) saying "Wowzers" every five minutes, that I forgive. And I also understand the need to make this palatable for children; the intended audience, but let's be frank here- Loony Toons is palatable for children, The Muppet movies are palatable, even the Backyardigans are funny and make perfect sense to a kid. So why on earth, if it wasn't just really bad script writing, did they feel the need to make all their characters sound like the adults on a Barney episode? And again, I'm not gonna go into a ton of detail about the acting and stuff; mainly because I know virtually nothing about acting except that it has to do with stage-fright and fur coats, and because I'm not sure how any actor or actress who tried their best could have made a script like that better. In fact, the only thing else I'm going to write about this movie, is that it confirmed a suspicion I had the moment I watched the commercial on Netflix; if you've never seen the cartoon, it will make a ton more sense. One thing I notice a lot about Disney movies that are made from a previous idea; no matter how iconic and well known the original was, Disney will make it completely different. And I don't mean all the Disney based-of-a-cartoon-movies are bad, I liked "Underdog", but then, I've never seen the cartoon. It's like, they got the idea from someone, watched about five seconds from one of the old episodes, and ran with it. And no, it doesn't really bother me at all that it wasn't like the cartoon, it just doesn't make any sense. There were all these element of the cartoon that were really well-known, like the Claw's face never getting shown and Penny finding all the clues, that would have been easy to incorporate and at least make it to were you could watch the movie and go "Oh YeeAAAhhh!!! The Claw did have a cat! Wadda ya know, someone did their research!". And then there were other weird things that they just kind of threw into the movie, and when I watched it oblivious to the fact that a cartoon version even existed, it seemed to make perfect sense that his car would talk and his dog wouldn't. Oh yyyessss....I almost forgot. The Gadget Mobile. don't make me start on the Gadget Mobile, I could write an entire blog post about it. Let's just say that by the end of the movie I was crying into Ruby's shoulder begging her to make it stop talking. I don't know whether they thought the actors and actresses were too boring or if they just needed to kill time, but why the heck the decided it would be a good idea the throw in an annoying car that sounded like...I don't know...some DJ or something....is beyond me. But that's it. That's ALL I'm gonna say. This movie has seriously frightened me from ever trusting blindly to my memories again, and possibly frightened me out of renting the second one, which I hear is better. OK. In Other News; We went to the dentist yesterday, our first trip, even for me. We all had our teeth looked at and cleaned and Isabel had two cavities filled, and as it turns out; I have a dirty, dirty mouth. I was there for the LONGEST time and the hygienist had to call in the actual dentist to look at my teeth. I will need to have cavities filled, I may need braces and they want a specialist to look and see if I need surgery to get my wisdom teeth out. It proves it; ignorance is bliss. I have never had teeth problems before and I wasn't really worried about them at all until yesterday, when suddenly someone looks in my mouth and tells me my teeth are about to ruin my life. I'm done now, and I will let you off the hook because I just pushed "preview" and this post looks menacingly long. Bye!


P.S. Just kidding! You thought would get off without a P.S.? Ha! Anyway, If it's not to much trouble I would seriously like a suggestion for a REAL movie to review. Thank you.

P.P.S. If you happen to be a fan of the old cartoon and are wondering what's in it for you, there is this strange little part during the credits were Penny calls Brian on her watch-thingy and he answers and has a really weird voice. It wasn't the next day when my brain finally made the connection and I realized that it was Don Adams, voice of the old Inspector. So there, enjoy!

In Defense Of "The End" And "LOST" In General

Believe it or not, I thought this through, very carefully. I realize that reading some 15 year old defend a drama program is probably not your desired reading for the night, and I understand it. I've given up on being one of those bloggers that gets a whole bunch of followers and subscribers- I write for two reasons; in the hopes of entertaining those who are close and anyone who stumbles upon it, whilst keeping them informed of the daily goings-on in our household, and simply for the joy of writing, because I love to write. And since the majority of the topics covered are those which I am currently taking an interest in, it stands to the reader to decide whether or not my blog is worth coming back to for whatever news or humor it might hold. I wish I was one of those writers that could make every topic fun and interesting, but I'm not. So if the fact that at this particular moment I chose to blog about "Lost" totally bothers you- I will not hold you responsible for reading the post. That was a really depressing intro. I'm sorry. I hope I didn't scare anybody away from reading this. Here goes;
I liked "Lost". And I'm not afraid to say it. But I'm starting to believe I should be because every time I mention that I've even watched it to somebody, they snort and chuckle a little and give the miniature version of an eye-roll. Their answer/explanation for this behavior? "It was a waste of time." with all do respect- people who believe this and who's opinions I admire greatly- I have to ask; What did you expect? I mean what was your thought when you saw it coming on for the first time; "Hey, COOL! A show with people! People that crash on an island! And it's a drama! And there's sadness and humor and love stories and people die! Hey ya' know, we should totally watch that. I bet it'll make us better people, teach us some awesome life stories and by the end of it- it will NOT have been a waste of time." Look, I'm sorry. But if your looking for that kind of fulfillment, TV is not the place to go. I, for one, don't think cinema is waste of time at all. I see it as a work of art- the product of human thought and labor- a form of expression. I see great possibilities for fellowship when you enjoy cinema together as a group and most of all- I believe there is always an important life lesson that can be gained from any form entertainment derived from the human mind. Now, of course, I'm getting too broad- but I wanted to clarify this very important aspect first of all; anything in human culture can be bettering, in which case nothing is "A waste of time." it simply depends on what your looking for and how good you are at sorting the mush from the good stuff. So no, I'm not actually trying to stick up for the writers, actors, and director (s) of the show "Lost", although I think their all brilliant, talented people. I'm just sick of hearing the same arguments against it that don't make any sense. Me and Ruby thoroughly enjoyed watching it together- and grant it, there came a point when it became a little to prominently on our minds and I think we spent more time then we should have watching it- you always have to be careful of that. But most of the time it was like a daily routine; at lunch time we would break into the cokes that we earned from Mom, help with lunch for the gals and then curl up on my bed and enjoy a few episodes. Enjoy a few episodes, because believe it or not it did have comedy and drama and sadness and love and people DEFINITELY died. We picked favorite characters, guessed who would be the next to go, impersonated people and formed silly inside jokes. And we remembered, through the whole thing, that God was LORD. We compared all the references to scripture that were scattered throughout, and pointed out the life lessons that could be derived. Not to mention, it brought us closer together, it gave us something our own to do, by ourselves. So no, I watched "Lost" all the way through...twice; and I still don't think it was a waste of time. I'm sorry for anyone that did because I believe you missed out; and although I wish I could leave you with a better last message, the best I can say is this; God can communicate in anyway he wants to, and his truth is everywhere. We, as humans, are all made in his image and there for; willingly or un-willingly we reflect his beauty in everything we do, and I believe it's our job as Christians to find this beauty, and make it more easily-see-able to everyone else.



P.S. This post is barely about "Lost" and I don't even think I mentioned "The End". My bad.

P.P.S. As a review, it kind of stinks, but examining something like a cinema presentation was really fun. Reviewing is something I've always wanted to do. We're renting "Inspector Gadget" (the live-action Mathew Broderick version) tomorrow, so if you think it'd be a good idea for me to review that then grovel and I might consider it.

Finally, a Fabulous Foundations Collegium Post Featuring My Famous Friends!

Hi. I am fifteen today, and I would like to show you the people that I spent the majority of my day with. I am not going to give a whole lot of background, or say a bunch of funny things, because it's my birthday; and today I don't need humor to keep you reading my blog posts. But first; a few disclaimers- Raz, there is no picture of you in here. Sorry, but you got there just a bit to late and we were already about to start and I was like "I'll get a picture of you later!" as soon as you came in and you were like "What?" except you said it like I had just confided in you that I was turning into a giraffe, and the anxiety at my social skills that this created in me prevented me from concentrating and I forgot to take a picture of you. Also, a few of you are either really insecure, or in trouble with the law- or you just thought it was really funny to avoid letting me take your picture ON MY BIRTHDAY. Ian, Graham, and Brenna; I'm looking at you. Except I'm not, because you wouldn't let me. Ian and Graham I let off the hook because I managed to sneak a photo of while they were talking, but the world will never know what Brenna looks like. There are no pictures of Jonathan or Julia in here, because Jonathan was sick and Julia arrived about the time the cake was cut, so there was obvious reason for distraction. Wow, I said I wasn't gonna say a whole lot and then I did. So here are the pictures, with (hopefully) as little explanation as possible.
First is the picture of Herr professor Bird, he's the noble looking fellow holding the blue glass.
Then we have two pictures of two people; Christian is coming the door and looking both happy and surprised that I am taking a picture. And younger Graham (there's two of them) is looking pleased with himself at being there first. And then I have a picture of the two together making a funny face. Alyssa managed to strike a nice pose in time for my ninja-fast camera attack (she is wearing a pink sweatshirt and a bow), and Hank is always standing about like he wants his picture taken, he is in the dark brown sweatshirt. Older Graham is wearing a green rugby tee-shirt and trying to hide from my awesome snap-shot skills. Well it didn't work, because you will notice that I have a photo of him from the side too. Ian also tried, and failed, to avoid me by making what he thought was an impenetrable wall from his red sweatshirt. And like a patient hunter I waited for him to become distracted, and he is going in the post too. Brenna, however, managed to somehow avoid it, she is the only one who's face is not visible, but her black and white shirt is very pretty at least. Denver is also seen smiling as he comes through the door, and since I don't want you to mistake him for Christian, he is wearing blue and Christian is not. Also, to save time, I included a rather blurry photo of Anna, (middle) Natalie, her sister, and Alyssa, whom you've already been introduced to. They are very interested in something on Anna's phone. Sorry if it's not the best picture ever, but at least your faces are all slightly visible. So in conclusion- and If you've read to this point I can only assume you've noticed this already- when I started writing this post I figured that blogger, being as advanced as it seems to think it is, would have a nice organized system of putting the photos up and letting the writer decide what order they go in. I was wrong. So you'll just have to scroll through and find the photo I'm speaking of using the brief description I gave you and your own blind luck. And I'm going to sleep now.

A Blog Post Without a Name Because I Can't Think Up a Witty One

Thank you Mom, for being the only one to fully appreciate that last blog post. There, now the guilt trip for the day is done, and more! I have set the scene for the rest of the blog post; because Mom- you and Dad are gonna get a lot of thanks this post. Unfortunately, there is no way to do this without feeling guilty, because although I have about a million things to thank my parents for during the day (thank you for not killing me, thank you for not tearing my hair out, ect.) I never, ever do until all of a sudden they just decide to do something awesome for me out of the blue, and then I get on face-book and I'm like "I have the best parents in the world!" and even though they think it's really great that I acknowledge that fact, I'm sure my parents must have that tiny seed in them that says "You know, she only posted that because you did something nice and she doesn't want to be nice to you the rest of the day and she wants you to think she's really nice when you do nice things for her so you'll do more nice things." Their brains seriously over-use the word nice. And though I've done that innumerable times, I'm sure the tiny seed has only gotten worse, but here's the thing; I'm really not doing it for either of those reasons. Really. I love you guys a TON and I think your the best parents in the world and when you do nice things I just feel really bad for not doing nice things for you; but I'm not all that creative and I have a limited number of resources, so a face-book post is usually the only thing you get for your efforts. Sorry. But hey, this time it's a blog post! So now that that issue is (hopefully) clarified, I will tell you the nice things they did. So, as you ALL know, next week on the 11'nth everybody's favorite blogger, guitar player, VHS collector and VW fan will turn 15. But since it was unclear whether Dad would be in town that week they decided to give my present on Thurs ( I think they were actually just afraid that I would figure out what it was since I'm such a genius ). I can now admit that when I was first told that they had my present, and that it was an electronic, and that I would love it, I had serious doubts. How could they know what I wanted when I didn't? There was no electronic that I knew about that I wanted; iPod? Not really. iPhone? No way. I was confused and disappointed without cause. But I had underestimated my family- man! Do they know me! The present (which I have included pictures of ) is a record player, CD player, Tape player, Aux player, LP converter, tape converter, and Aux converter (all to CD), and it's beautiful, isn't it? But that isn't the only thing my long-suffering parents have done for me this week, no; last night, the day before Dad had to leave town, he spent getting my bug over here. That's right, it's finally back in my hands! And because of the cold and dark and rust that Dad endured moving it, I forgive him for the broken front and back panels and other "Minor cosmetic damages" inflicted during the move. Hopefully, if my personal responsibility holds out, I will blog in detail about that later. And now; to conclude the post; I would like to say thank you to both Mom and Dad for giving me one of the best weeks of my life. And for, in general, putting up with me, my crazy emotional-ness, my eccentric hobbies of collecting rare Muppet things and doing random British-impressions. I have no idea in the world how I would have gotten on without parents as cool as you. You Rock.

Favorites! .....Just Kidding, Panspermia!

Ok, the title is done-now to think up a post that goes with it...kidding. I actually do have a plan this time! Yesterday I forewarned of a post entitled "Favorites" that was to come up today. Believe me, I had every intention of making that happen, but when I actually got to thinking about it, it sounded like the lamest thing ever. I mean, let's be honest guys- I joke a lot about how my blog posts mainly center around my interests; but really, I keep you guys informed and manage to slip in some funny sentences here and there right? It would appear that this, coupled with your incessantly nice comments asking for more, have given me the idea that I am an invincible blogger and I can pull of post about anything I want, even toenails. But who really wants to sit on their computer, and read a list of the things some other person likes? Really?! So I'm scratching that idea and moving on to the next one; PANSPERMIA!!! Panspermia is a theory on the origin of life, a way to justify the existence of aliens and include them into our cosmic ancestry, a way to pull together the intelligent design and evolutionary theories without loosing the romance and science of either...it's also my symposium topic. Which is the only reason I say all those nice things, because lets face it; anyone who's so desperate to believe in aliens they try to form a real scientific theory off of it-is a total fruitcake. But I picked it, I've researched it, and I'll be defending it next Tuesday. But actually I'm pretty excited, mine will be hard to defend so they will expect to wipe me out and man, they got another thing comin'! I hired Doctor who and a Dalek to stop by afterward anyway, in case things get too rough. And that's about it. I would love to tell you more about the actual theory but...actually I don't, and since this is my blog I wont.



P.S. I'm include a link here to a HILARIOUS blog written by a really funny girls, however it is my strict duty to warn you that the content is pretty adult; mostly due to her tendency to use strong language to accentuate her posts. But if your one of my adult friends, and you feel man enough for it, I would give it a look because it's probably the funniest thing since Peebles. The
blog; Hyperbole and a Half

P.P.S. Picture is of Doctor Who. ;)

A More Coherant Post

First of all, let me explain why I chose this particular moment to blog.It happened something like this; My sister told my Mom that I was making myself a cup of coffee at 7:50, Mom told me I would never sleep, and I was "Augh! I'm doing school! I need coffee!' and she was like "Look at my Bejeweled Blitz score!' and I was like "I'm going to do school." and she was like "Fine! Go do your school!" and then I went to my room and looked at my paper and decided I didn't want to do school anyway. So...I guess that's not really a reason to blog after all, in fact I'm not even sure why the hour chosen to blog needs an explanation...oh well, this is me were talking about here. And speaking of me, it's time for my daily criticize-my-own-blog-post rant! Just kidding, it was awesome. And, as I now realize, not really that long (thank you Papa!) just really, really, incoherent- with lots of disjointed sentences, abstract thoughts and random news flashes. Oh yeah, and my "N" key had something spilled on it so it's really sticky now and takes me like three times to get it to work, so I wrote "wet" instead of "went", and other such grammar faults several times. OK, I named this "A More Coherant Post" (yes, I name the posts before I write them-it's fun but doesn't really help with coherence- can you tell I like this word?) anyway, in the spirit of coherence (how many times?!) I am going to try to start thinking up a theme for all these posts that have no news-bringing purpose, like "What I think of ducks" or "My view on the PT Cruiser" or something like that. This means that improvised posts, as in the past, will probably be public failures; as they are all my inexplicable thoughts on the things I choose to talk about- but isn't that what a blog is for? I'm thinking about one called "favorites" that may go up soon, and perhaps I'll blog about Panspermia (alien seed model) after that. Anyway, this hasn't been, despite it's ambitious title, the most coherent (four times!) post ever, but it got the job done, and my restraining from making it too long by including the "Favorites" thing gave me hope that I can, actually, be an organized cohesive blogger.

P.S. I mentioned the argument I had with my Mom briefly above. I would like to publicly apologize for it; Mom, I sorry. And your Bejeweled score is goin' down!

P.P.S. I almost forgot! I got the most sensational, inspirational, celebration-al, Muppet-tational
Kermit-the-frog hat the other day. I mean really; aside from God and a whole lot of other things, it's like the most awesome thing ever.