Monday, May 16, 2011

A Guide To Peter Lorre's Facial Expressions (And The Boogie Man Will Get You)

I have like, a million and one reasons not to be blogging right now. A poster project that is due tomorrow, a memorization project to work on, and exams to study for plus I already have four reviews written and saved on my computer. However I couldn't resist since I watched this movie last night and it is still fresh in my mind. And, for a brief moment, wonderful, gracious Windstream has allowed us access to the internet we paid for. So without further a due;

The Boogie Man Will Get You
( a completely irrelevant title, when you think about it. There is actually no mention whatsoever of a boogie man, but during the last few scenes, I wouldn't have been surprised if he showed up as a pizza man, it got that random.)

Now you may think that any movie titled "The Boogie Man Will Get You" would star either Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi or Peter Lorre- and you'd be right. Welcome to horror-comedy-pun

Of all three heroes of horror, only Lugosi is missing, and you'll never even notice he's gone- the movie's breakneck-speed plot and confusing elements will make sure of that. Meanwhile, Boris Karloff stars as a dim-witted, well-meaning doctor who lives in the basement of a proverbially creepy old tavern, where he preforms his experiments to create the ultimate superman. Winnie Slade (Miss Jeff Donnell) a perky minnie-mouse-esque girl with an eye for antiques, purchases the tavern, complete with professor and laboratory, with the intent of making it into a hotel. Peter Lorre (I told you he'd be in it) plays the towns resident mayor/coroner/sheriff/ hair-tonic salesman/crazy cat guy who assists in the professor's experiment with eye on potential profit. And because that isn't nearly enough to keep a plot going according to director Lew Lahr, there's also two farm-animal obsessed old servants who'd kill to get a homestead, a choreographer who's not really one, a random old man who gets murdered, an extremely stupid powder-puff salesman, two really thick cops, a nearby ammunition plant and eventually, a human bomb. Plus Larry Parks as Winnie's long-suffering ex-husband, who although he tries really hard, just can't be Cary Grant. I'm sorry.

If it sounds confusing to you, congratulations, your right. With creaky old houses, an abundance of dead bodies, murderous old people and Peter Lorre, it's no surprise my first thought was "Sequel to Arsenic and Old Lace", but it will have to qualify as prequel, since it was made a good two years before. And since I know your wondering, yes it's funny, no it is no where near Arsenic and Old Lace, but it is funny.

And speaking of Peter Lorre-

I have seen way to many of his movies. It's unreal. Seriously, I'm looking right now and all the reviews I have saved here are Peter Lorre films, or at least have him in it. Wowzers, that's frightening. Kind of like Peter Lorre. Still in the advent of seeing so many you-know-who movies, I have found that I am now able to read his facial expressions, and have here created a helpful beginner's guide to the looks of impending doom he gives the other cast members throughout his movies. Would you like to see it? Of course you would. Let's take for example The Boogie Man Will Get You. This first one is very easy, it says;

This one is just a bit more complicated, but if you look very hard, I think you can figure it out;

And we've all had that happen to us. This is one we see a lot;

Sorry if the wording is small but the look must be preserved. This is also a common one I think we all have on our face at least once a day. This look means;

This look holds a very precise warning;

And to finish off;

So there you have it. If that many pictures of Peter Lorre doesn't keep you from sleeping for a week I don't know what will.

P.S. I love you all like you were my grandmother ( some of you are) and that will stop me from killing you, which is why I will go now before my mother bans me from blogging at risk of losing any kind of future career. Thank you.

P.P.S. Another review tomorrow, I promise! God Bless!


Christina said...

Hahaha... I literally "laughed out loud" on these! You are one silly kiddo and I love the reviews. Keep them coming!

Jon said...

An excellent piece. Obviously, I had subconsciously written it, and then you plageurized it. hm.

VWbugnut said...

Uhm, plagiarized? ;) love ya Dad!