Christmas and Crayons- Totally Unrelated

The store was full of old ladies. I don't what was going on, but I felt like I was at a fashion show for high wasted pants and turquoise flannel...because, that's what old ladies wear....

I scribbled that in my notebook in, surprise, surprise, a Wal-Mart parking lot. I included it (if you need a reason) because I'm sick of writing things and taking up room in my blog-notebook, and they never getting to my blog. And besides, thinking up an intro to these things is hard....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
I am having a coherency problem, so I figured I'll just go ahead and skip to that. I told myself before the holidays that I was not, repeat NOT going to let the busyness of Christmas prevent me from keeping up with my blog, which I had finally gotten into a habit of doing...I, of all people should have known how unreliable I am. But the last time I blogged I left you out of breath, staring blankly at three black and white photos of people you didn't know and expecting an update about a Christmas party that never came. And now I'm going to have skip past the part about the Christmas party, the adorable version of Porky Pig singing "Blue Christmas" that I listened to at least forty times, the shock and disappointment I felt when I found out that both Morey Amsterdam and Andy Griffith had been sucked into providing voices for those terrible (but somehow cozy) Christmas cartoons from the 70's...in order to keep you up-to-date. So let's start with the presents, shall we? Normally, in the blissful days of my recent childhood, I was able to accumulate during the course of a year, a list of presents not below or exceeding roughly 2 million items. In this way, I knew that no matter how badly my parents anticipated which one I wanted the most, someone in my family was sure to get me an awesome present. However, this year I found myself completely stumped. I really had everything I wanted at the moment...except a guitar, but my mother was sneaky and dishonest enough to affirm to me that I wasn't getting one. And as a result, waiting for my Christmas present was like missing a trip to Disney world and then picking up trash off the highway...and then having to eat cold spinach for dinner. I had to listen to Mom and Dad actually complain they couldn't give it to me sooner. But it was worth the wait, and I am now the proud owner of a beautiful new Yamaha acoustic guitar with a Road-Runner brand case. (the inside of the case is furry and blue and the most comfortable thing since Peebles...it makes you want to crawl inside and become a ventriloquist's dummy just so you can live there). I also got a cool lap desk from Nina and Papa (which I am using right now, thank you very much ;) some silly bands- I'm not really into the silly band thing but these were Muppet silly bands, so I made an exception. I got two new cool scarfs, knee socks and a tee-shirt which merits description; It is gray, features Kermit the frog in large glasses and says "Geek" several times in big green letters. I really don't have a clue what would posses someone to make a shirt like this, but I do know that it has the Muppets and it calls me a geek, and is therefore the most expressive thing I shall ever wear. New Years was celebrated with non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice, Jack Benny specials and a lot of noise. We didn't get to celebrate Christmas with our other grandparents till the day before yesterday, and I came back with an awesome vintage VW bug puzzle from 1974, steam-curlers, and some capital, gnarly and pleasing new vinyl, including >insert girly squeal< two John Denver records. ANYWAY, our poster collecting is going surprisingly well. We already have the Humphrey
Bogart, a black and white "Casablanca" and an "Abbey Road". Today I am expecting a Jack Benny, and John Denver and Bob Dylan are on the way. So goodbye people! I told mother I would be working on my poster project, and something tells me she shall be rather unhappy to find out the truth. Some people simply cannot handle the truth.


P.S. At some point I'm going to grow up and stop using unnecessary pictures to draw people into my posts. At some point I am going to have a nice camera and be able to take decent pictures and then I'll be able to show you the tee-shirt and silly bands and guitar. But right now you'll just have to settle for the pictures of two of the the posters were getting (Bob Dylan and Jack Benny) and a stock photo of John Denver's "Poems, Prayers and Promises", one of my new records. Many apologies, especially as blogger's inability to cope with visuals is yet again cutting my post to pieces.


P.P.S. I almost forgot! We got "Toy Story 3" for Christmas too - and unless my laptop is impounded because of this post I will review it soon. Cheers!

Stuff and Stuff

I get the sneaking suspicion I've used that title before. But, you see, to verify this would take research and neither me or you want to read old posts, so I digress. First off, I want to apologize for that last post. Not particularly because it was awful, in the technical sense it was a nice coherent (:D) post with plenty of good points- in fact, I may be just being perfectionist- I guess the problem was that there was nothing funny about it. If I'm going to write something I want it to have at least the bare minimal of humor to it, and there is positively nothing funny about watching Tim Blake in a bad role. But enough about that; Some updates! (your going to have to bear with me at first because this doesn't sound exciting) Me and my sister Ruby...meaning me...spent yesterday cleaning and the end result was that we earned 15 bucks each. That may not sound like a lot of money, but to a girl who wants as many things as I do, it's like the light at the end of the tunnel- I guess the tunnel is the day I spent cleaning...never mind, figure it out yourself. So anyway, Ruby is buying a Humphrey Bogart poster with her half, and hanging it over her bed in a spot conveniently visible to me and out of the way of my record- mural- thing. I don't know what the thing is about Humphrey Bogart- he's just about so awesome I can't think of anything to compare him too. He's not even really all that good looking, he's what you call intimidatingly handsome; he scares you into the illusion that he's the best thing since...or till... Harrison Ford. And that's just cool. But that's not my problem; I have been wanting a John Denver poster. And I am NOT afraid to admit that, I am embracing my own inner- nerd. You may call it de-socialization, I call it bravery; it's not easy carrying out a social life with a guy like John Denver hanging over your head-literally. That's what the pictures are of- The smiley guy (Denver, if you happen to be a crazy person and don't know) and Bogart, who looks like he just may shoot someone, these are the exact posters were getting, and I leave it up to you- who out does the other? Is John Denver friendlier (I refrain from saying 'cute') than Humphrey Bogart is tough?! We must solve this great problem! And that just may be were I leave you. I really just wanted to blog because I can, and because I want to have something else on the top of my page other than the boring "Holes" review. Oh! And a few more things; today was the last class day till February, but tomorrow we are going caroling and Saturday there is a Christmas party- (why is this my first Christmas party? That really hurts) so the festivities are not over yet. And; we have been watching a lot of "The Dick Van Dyke Show" ( D.V.D. is also among my list of awesome people) lately, and when I mentioned this to my grandfather the day before yesterday, he told me he had met Morey Amsterdam...and it is very hard to explain the significance of that to you unless A) you watched the show and B) You knew the names of the actors and C) you appreciate awesome people, because Morey Amsterdam is one O' dose. And I plan on buying a cool Muppet record. The end!


P.S. I added a picture of Morey Amsterdam for good measure. I know there are lots of pictures of awesome people in black and white but as long as you know who at least two of them are I trust you won't get confused.

P.P.S. I thought of one of those witty sayings you could put on a T-shirt: "Before the world had Chuck Norris we had Humphrey Bogart" Your welcome. I don't know how much sense that makes because I'm not familiar with Chuck Norris, I just know he's cool. And you may or may not get beat up for wearing a shirt that says that- it depends on how many people there are that still walk around thinking it's the 80's. And I also thought of something to compare him to; he's almost as awesome as my Kermit hat.

"Holes"- A Sick Girl's Review.

"Smells like puke from a mule that's been ruminating on asparagus for a week!"- Dr. Pendenski



( That is my favorite quote from the movie ;-). First of all, let me clarify my use of the word "sick", what I mean is, I have had the flu for the last week. Not the other kind of sick as in "sicko". Glad that's out of the way. Well as you all know, I only promised- what was it- a week ago that this review was coming soon. It came! I cannot tell you how incredibly glad I was when the "Inspector Gadget" review got so much feedback...positive feedback...and I have really wanted to get off...I mean up and review another movie. We rented "Holes" the exact same time as "Inspector Gadget", and I had already seen it many times before, which is probably half the reason why it wasn't my first choice for reviewing- I already had a built-in opinion that I had shared with most of you. Anyway, when I watched this...uhm....this time, I almost expected it to be a bad movie. That probably had something to do with the aforementioned film, but it still shook my firm belief that this was an awesome movie, and helped me to look at it in a more honest, analytical way. And I still could find very little wrong with it. I like this movie! The plot is excellent, sure- I can't give Disney the credit for it, it was based of a book- but it is great. It's complicated and all ties in like...like...a Seinfeld episode or something. Except that's a really bad example, because it's nothing like Seinfeld. Anyway- Patricia Arquette and Tim Blake, the name of two actors...or an actor and actress...who's acting needed help in this movie. Let me explain. I am a fan of Tim Blake- "O' Brother Where Art Thou" is in the top three of my all-time favorite movies, and he is one of my favorite characters in the movie... but his role in "Holes" was impossible. He plays Dr. Pendenski, the camp counselor. Originally, he is introduced as the nice, stupid guy, but early on a sub plot is introduced in which he is really, really mean to the supporting character, Zero. And it's just unbelievable. As in- you can't believe it, which still sounds too dramatic. And then as the movie goes on he get's meaner and meaner in general, and by the end of the movie he's just a sinister evil-genius- his entire character turns around, and it's just no good. Besides, he's way more believable as a nice stupid guy. And Patricia Arquette, who plays Kate Barlow... well- what can say? She's very pretty. There, that's the nice thing- and her acting is terrible. End of story. Anyway, the bottom line is this- I did my research, I asked at least a dozen people, including my teacher and my grandparents, and got one of the same answers every time- either "Loved it", "It was very clever" or "I've only read the book". And one guy just didn't like Shia LeBuff, but that's actor stuff, so I don't count that. But seriously, this movie had everything- awesome plot, reasonably good actors, some comedy, scenes in the old west AND with a pig, and a soundtrack that could have been anyone from Alison Krauss to Blues Traveler. I guess that's not a real big range. Oh well. What I'm trying to say is- this leaves very little grounds for reviewing. All I can really tell you is, go watch it! It's good...unless your a huge Tim Blake fan...



P.S. We just had our library membership renewed! So maybe I'll read the book and then write a whole post about how it is and isn't like the movie. I've read the book, but it was a long time ago and all I remember is that Stanley was fat.

P.P.S. You see how boring the reviews are when the movie is good?

Sickness, The Worst Way To Die.

I really want to blog right now, and I should, it's a perfectly logical thing to do. Because I, dear people, am sick. I woke up this morning with a headache, after having dreams off and on that I was alone with the girls in the car trying to find a way home. I had more then a headache- my limbs and back are aching, to the point were I can't even really move them (typing, once you achieve the right angle, does not require use of arms, just fingers) and I have a really painful cough that feels like it will make me throw up. Mom had planned to go out tonight, which is horrible because I've been begging her to do something out of the house so me and my sisters can have a sleepover, and I will probably miss school tomorrow. In other words, my day is not going desirably, and now I am stuck desperately trying to think up a blog post because it's the only thing left for me to do. I've been looking through my drafts, trying to get an idea, but the thing about blog posts is you have to be in a certain state of mind when you write them, and I feel like the blob at the moment, so I can't really pick up the energetic thought trains of any of my other posts. But before I complain further, I would like to thank all of you for commenting on my last blog post, seven is the most comments I think I have had since I started blogging again in like 2009. (OK, so half those comments are mine, there were still a lot) I feel a little better now, so maybe I'll get up and watch "The Dick Van Dyke" show in the living-room. Or maybe I'll just have another biscuit and watch "The Andy Griffith" show on TV land.com. So this has just been a gloomy, boring update of a post with no witticism whatsoever, but at least I feel secure in the fact that you all enjoyed the last one. Better post coming (hopefully) soon!

P.S. Oh right, that title. Well I could go on for hours, but really, think about it- a slow, painful death in which you hurt internally. It's not near as funny as it sounds but very true. And why the picture of the Blob? The world will never know...

P.P.S. Mom is very nice. She made me a biscuit and a smoothie and she says that I don't have to do the dishes and she's willing to let me stay in bed and miss her dinner-trip. I love my Aunty Em!

A Fly-By Review of "Inspector Gadget"- The Movie, and Some More Important Things.

I changed the title of this post. It was originally going to be something cutesy... something with "Wowzers" in it. And there is a reason I told you that, because it shows you just how serious I took writing this review. You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this, or how many reviews I already have saved as drafts- but my own laziness, self-consciousness, and the fact that I could never find a good movie that everyone I know hadn't already seen prevented me. Until the other night when I got all mad after watching LOST and decided to write about it- and people liked it, and it got off well, and I promised a review and...buried myself. I want you to know that I did not pick this movie from other choices as the best possible one to review, my sisters have been watching a lot of old "Inspector Gadget" cartoons recently, and in the midst of missing them when I was at Nina and Papa's for my birthday I decided it would be a good idea to rent the live-action movie. The last time I watched it was in 2007, when it kept coming on TBS. And for some reason, weird memories of Mom and Dad giggling at a few parts, coupled with a conversation I remember having with Dad in Cici's about what was like the cartoon and what wasn't, gave me the lasting impression that it was a funny, memorable family movie. But it obviously wasn't that memorable, or I would have remembered it for what it is; a cruddy, cruddy, direct-to-video film. So movie- I am going to review you. But not in the professional, analytical way I had originally intended- your not worth it. In more of a fly-by, heres-to-justify-all-the-mean-things-I'm-gonna-say way. And then I'm getting on with my life. The first thing that pulled me out of my illusion when I watched this, was the dialogue. It will make you cringe. And no, I'm not talking about Mathew Broderick (here is another good thing about movie reviews, you can use actor and actress's names as if you know them and all their work when you really don't, I've never seen another of Mathew Broderick's films) saying "Wowzers" every five minutes, that I forgive. And I also understand the need to make this palatable for children; the intended audience, but let's be frank here- Loony Toons is palatable for children, The Muppet movies are palatable, even the Backyardigans are funny and make perfect sense to a kid. So why on earth, if it wasn't just really bad script writing, did they feel the need to make all their characters sound like the adults on a Barney episode? And again, I'm not gonna go into a ton of detail about the acting and stuff; mainly because I know virtually nothing about acting except that it has to do with stage-fright and fur coats, and because I'm not sure how any actor or actress who tried their best could have made a script like that better. In fact, the only thing else I'm going to write about this movie, is that it confirmed a suspicion I had the moment I watched the commercial on Netflix; if you've never seen the cartoon, it will make a ton more sense. One thing I notice a lot about Disney movies that are made from a previous idea; no matter how iconic and well known the original was, Disney will make it completely different. And I don't mean all the Disney based-of-a-cartoon-movies are bad, I liked "Underdog", but then, I've never seen the cartoon. It's like, they got the idea from someone, watched about five seconds from one of the old episodes, and ran with it. And no, it doesn't really bother me at all that it wasn't like the cartoon, it just doesn't make any sense. There were all these element of the cartoon that were really well-known, like the Claw's face never getting shown and Penny finding all the clues, that would have been easy to incorporate and at least make it to were you could watch the movie and go "Oh YeeAAAhhh!!! The Claw did have a cat! Wadda ya know, someone did their research!". And then there were other weird things that they just kind of threw into the movie, and when I watched it oblivious to the fact that a cartoon version even existed, it seemed to make perfect sense that his car would talk and his dog wouldn't. Oh yyyessss....I almost forgot. The Gadget Mobile. don't make me start on the Gadget Mobile, I could write an entire blog post about it. Let's just say that by the end of the movie I was crying into Ruby's shoulder begging her to make it stop talking. I don't know whether they thought the actors and actresses were too boring or if they just needed to kill time, but why the heck the decided it would be a good idea the throw in an annoying car that sounded like...I don't know...some DJ or something....is beyond me. But that's it. That's ALL I'm gonna say. This movie has seriously frightened me from ever trusting blindly to my memories again, and possibly frightened me out of renting the second one, which I hear is better. OK. In Other News; We went to the dentist yesterday, our first trip, even for me. We all had our teeth looked at and cleaned and Isabel had two cavities filled, and as it turns out; I have a dirty, dirty mouth. I was there for the LONGEST time and the hygienist had to call in the actual dentist to look at my teeth. I will need to have cavities filled, I may need braces and they want a specialist to look and see if I need surgery to get my wisdom teeth out. It proves it; ignorance is bliss. I have never had teeth problems before and I wasn't really worried about them at all until yesterday, when suddenly someone looks in my mouth and tells me my teeth are about to ruin my life. I'm done now, and I will let you off the hook because I just pushed "preview" and this post looks menacingly long. Bye!


P.S. Just kidding! You thought would get off without a P.S.? Ha! Anyway, If it's not to much trouble I would seriously like a suggestion for a REAL movie to review. Thank you.

P.P.S. If you happen to be a fan of the old cartoon and are wondering what's in it for you, there is this strange little part during the credits were Penny calls Brian on her watch-thingy and he answers and has a really weird voice. It wasn't the next day when my brain finally made the connection and I realized that it was Don Adams, voice of the old Inspector. So there, enjoy!

In Defense Of "The End" And "LOST" In General

Believe it or not, I thought this through, very carefully. I realize that reading some 15 year old defend a drama program is probably not your desired reading for the night, and I understand it. I've given up on being one of those bloggers that gets a whole bunch of followers and subscribers- I write for two reasons; in the hopes of entertaining those who are close and anyone who stumbles upon it, whilst keeping them informed of the daily goings-on in our household, and simply for the joy of writing, because I love to write. And since the majority of the topics covered are those which I am currently taking an interest in, it stands to the reader to decide whether or not my blog is worth coming back to for whatever news or humor it might hold. I wish I was one of those writers that could make every topic fun and interesting, but I'm not. So if the fact that at this particular moment I chose to blog about "Lost" totally bothers you- I will not hold you responsible for reading the post. That was a really depressing intro. I'm sorry. I hope I didn't scare anybody away from reading this. Here goes;
I liked "Lost". And I'm not afraid to say it. But I'm starting to believe I should be because every time I mention that I've even watched it to somebody, they snort and chuckle a little and give the miniature version of an eye-roll. Their answer/explanation for this behavior? "It was a waste of time." with all do respect- people who believe this and who's opinions I admire greatly- I have to ask; What did you expect? I mean what was your thought when you saw it coming on for the first time; "Hey, COOL! A show with people! People that crash on an island! And it's a drama! And there's sadness and humor and love stories and people die! Hey ya' know, we should totally watch that. I bet it'll make us better people, teach us some awesome life stories and by the end of it- it will NOT have been a waste of time." Look, I'm sorry. But if your looking for that kind of fulfillment, TV is not the place to go. I, for one, don't think cinema is waste of time at all. I see it as a work of art- the product of human thought and labor- a form of expression. I see great possibilities for fellowship when you enjoy cinema together as a group and most of all- I believe there is always an important life lesson that can be gained from any form entertainment derived from the human mind. Now, of course, I'm getting too broad- but I wanted to clarify this very important aspect first of all; anything in human culture can be bettering, in which case nothing is "A waste of time." it simply depends on what your looking for and how good you are at sorting the mush from the good stuff. So no, I'm not actually trying to stick up for the writers, actors, and director (s) of the show "Lost", although I think their all brilliant, talented people. I'm just sick of hearing the same arguments against it that don't make any sense. Me and Ruby thoroughly enjoyed watching it together- and grant it, there came a point when it became a little to prominently on our minds and I think we spent more time then we should have watching it- you always have to be careful of that. But most of the time it was like a daily routine; at lunch time we would break into the cokes that we earned from Mom, help with lunch for the gals and then curl up on my bed and enjoy a few episodes. Enjoy a few episodes, because believe it or not it did have comedy and drama and sadness and love and people DEFINITELY died. We picked favorite characters, guessed who would be the next to go, impersonated people and formed silly inside jokes. And we remembered, through the whole thing, that God was LORD. We compared all the references to scripture that were scattered throughout, and pointed out the life lessons that could be derived. Not to mention, it brought us closer together, it gave us something our own to do, by ourselves. So no, I watched "Lost" all the way through...twice; and I still don't think it was a waste of time. I'm sorry for anyone that did because I believe you missed out; and although I wish I could leave you with a better last message, the best I can say is this; God can communicate in anyway he wants to, and his truth is everywhere. We, as humans, are all made in his image and there for; willingly or un-willingly we reflect his beauty in everything we do, and I believe it's our job as Christians to find this beauty, and make it more easily-see-able to everyone else.



P.S. This post is barely about "Lost" and I don't even think I mentioned "The End". My bad.

P.P.S. As a review, it kind of stinks, but examining something like a cinema presentation was really fun. Reviewing is something I've always wanted to do. We're renting "Inspector Gadget" (the live-action Mathew Broderick version) tomorrow, so if you think it'd be a good idea for me to review that then grovel and I might consider it.

Finally, a Fabulous Foundations Collegium Post Featuring My Famous Friends!

Hi. I am fifteen today, and I would like to show you the people that I spent the majority of my day with. I am not going to give a whole lot of background, or say a bunch of funny things, because it's my birthday; and today I don't need humor to keep you reading my blog posts. But first; a few disclaimers- Raz, there is no picture of you in here. Sorry, but you got there just a bit to late and we were already about to start and I was like "I'll get a picture of you later!" as soon as you came in and you were like "What?" except you said it like I had just confided in you that I was turning into a giraffe, and the anxiety at my social skills that this created in me prevented me from concentrating and I forgot to take a picture of you. Also, a few of you are either really insecure, or in trouble with the law- or you just thought it was really funny to avoid letting me take your picture ON MY BIRTHDAY. Ian, Graham, and Brenna; I'm looking at you. Except I'm not, because you wouldn't let me. Ian and Graham I let off the hook because I managed to sneak a photo of while they were talking, but the world will never know what Brenna looks like. There are no pictures of Jonathan or Julia in here, because Jonathan was sick and Julia arrived about the time the cake was cut, so there was obvious reason for distraction. Wow, I said I wasn't gonna say a whole lot and then I did. So here are the pictures, with (hopefully) as little explanation as possible.
First is the picture of Herr professor Bird, he's the noble looking fellow holding the blue glass.
Then we have two pictures of two people; Christian is coming the door and looking both happy and surprised that I am taking a picture. And younger Graham (there's two of them) is looking pleased with himself at being there first. And then I have a picture of the two together making a funny face. Alyssa managed to strike a nice pose in time for my ninja-fast camera attack (she is wearing a pink sweatshirt and a bow), and Hank is always standing about like he wants his picture taken, he is in the dark brown sweatshirt. Older Graham is wearing a green rugby tee-shirt and trying to hide from my awesome snap-shot skills. Well it didn't work, because you will notice that I have a photo of him from the side too. Ian also tried, and failed, to avoid me by making what he thought was an impenetrable wall from his red sweatshirt. And like a patient hunter I waited for him to become distracted, and he is going in the post too. Brenna, however, managed to somehow avoid it, she is the only one who's face is not visible, but her black and white shirt is very pretty at least. Denver is also seen smiling as he comes through the door, and since I don't want you to mistake him for Christian, he is wearing blue and Christian is not. Also, to save time, I included a rather blurry photo of Anna, (middle) Natalie, her sister, and Alyssa, whom you've already been introduced to. They are very interested in something on Anna's phone. Sorry if it's not the best picture ever, but at least your faces are all slightly visible. So in conclusion- and If you've read to this point I can only assume you've noticed this already- when I started writing this post I figured that blogger, being as advanced as it seems to think it is, would have a nice organized system of putting the photos up and letting the writer decide what order they go in. I was wrong. So you'll just have to scroll through and find the photo I'm speaking of using the brief description I gave you and your own blind luck. And I'm going to sleep now.