A Fifteen-Year-Old's Graph of Film Nior Entertainment

Hi again.

I have to apologize for the fact that this is all the introduction your going to get right now. If I were in the "blogging mood" I'd be able to think up a whole post and not a measly little diagram.

So...I was cleaning the kitchen today, thinking about whether I was going to watch "Secret Agent" or "A Night In Casablanca" when it came to me- how a fifteen year old girl in a modern society can be so entertained by thing films that were created for a completely different audience. What is it about old movies in contrast to new ones that make me so interested? Is it just that film was better done, better acted, better made? Timelessness that I'm rediscovering? If all the fifteen-year-olds in the world were exposed to good old films, would it become the new phenomenon? Or is it some taste of mine that makes me like old movies so much? I decided to try and solve the riddle of appeal in old movies by illustrating and examining my own tastes. Here I have a graph I constructed of the things that make me laugh out loud V.S. the things that bore me, or make me sad or make me snicker with cheesiness. I hope at least some of this is understandable. You'll need to click on this in order to read it;

Well I don't think that helped at all.

But at least now I have a nice, illustrated, somewhat scary view of the way my mind works concerning old movies.

If you need a memory jogger, here are the movies I used in formulating these observations. From right;

1.The Maltese Falcon
2. The Maltese Falcon and Casablanca and everything else he's in.
3. Arsenic and Old Lace
4.Dead End
5. Arsenic and old Lace
6. The Maltese Falcon again
7. Tea for Two and Casablanca
8. The Man Who Knew Too Much, Secret Agent
9. To Be Or Not To Be
10. The Inspector General, White Christmas
11. The Inspector General, White Christmas

At some time in the far-fetched future I plan to actually review one of these films that I keep hinting about watching. Mmm...movie reviewing. I should try that some time, shouldn't I?

Let Me "Borrow" a Little of Your Time (tee-hee)

Hi.

I'm not doing a darn thing right now so I figured I would blog for you. Your welcome ;)

With that confident attitude, I launch into a post that is about two weeks overdue. But that is so not what I'm here to write about. I'm here to write about that stupid pun, and by that I mean I'm here to review "The Borrowers", hence that stupid pun that I used in the title as a warning sign, a red flag for your brain to encounter and ask itself, do I really want to read this?

Anyway, I'm glad you threw caution to the wind and decided to read anyway, because today I have a treat for you.
I rented the borrowers nearly two weeks ago, under the pretense that if it was good I could write about it and if it was bad I could rant about it. What I discovered was that I couldn't even watch it. Now I know what your thinking...this is the person who can watch a Littles episode at least 27 times without having an aneurism. I watched Squirm and still managed to giggle thirty minutes in. I even sat through most of Space Jam. If I can't watch it man, no one can.
But that's not what I mean when I say I couldn't get through the Borrowers. I Just didn't have the attention span, or the time. I know it makes me a lazy reviewer, but with a trip to NC coming up, moving soon, and a symposium on the way, I really gotta cut my losses, and frankly, The Borrowers started out kind of slow. So while I was thinking about how I'm slop compared to Roger Ebert, I got the bright idea. "Didn't I rent this movie for the kids anyway? Don't I review kids movies according to how well kids like them?" So instead of racking my poor central nervous system for witty things to say about a film I didn't even watch, I let my little sisters "guest star" on my blog, which they were thrilled to do.

So please put your peebles together for our guest reviewers!!

First up is Isabel, who is 8 years old, loves Scooby Doo and the Littles, and has some kind of caffeine complex that gives her unbridled, unfailing resorts of energy. In other words, she's really, really hyper. This is how I think a conventional magazine interview works, but I probably wouldn't know since I only read one a long, long time ago.
It was Brendan Fraser.
Talking about the Mummy.
I love the Mummy.

(Me) "Hey Izzy, what did you think of the Borrowers?"
(Iz)"I thought it was really really good. Are you writing down everything I say?
(Me) "What did you think of the characters?"
(Iz) "I thought it was good, I thought it had good animation. Really, are you writing down all the words I say?"
(Me)"Uhm...it wasn't animated."
(Iz)"Oh. I know- it was real life, but I liked how they made them very small."
(Me)"Oh, OK. Anything else?"
(Iz) "Well...I kind of didn't like 'Greenpea'. The name. I didn't like the name."
(Me) "Is that all you want to say about it?"
(Iz) "Yeah. But about the Little's book. Tell them I LOVED the Littles book. I want you to read more today!!!"

The conversation was becoming off-topic so I instead presented the question to Esther, who is five, likes about the same things as Isabel, and is about the cutest person in the universe.

(Me) "I'm gonna ask what you think about the Borrowers. What did you think?"
(Es)"I can't remember."
(Me)"You can't remember anything about it?"
(Es) "Well...they fell out of their car...the boy started finding them. A guy dug a hole inside their wall cause' they moved. They fell out of the car. They borrow stuff."
(Me)"Uhm...did you like the characters any?"
(Es)"Mm-hhm, I liked the girl one. the two boy ones and their father and their mom, I liked all of them. Two boys and two girls. Five of them."
(Me)"Ok...was it like the Littles any?"
(Es)"Yeah! Like they used those helmets like...those nuts for helmets. They got lost. Because they fell out of the car. This hurts, Locksley this really hurts. Its really tight. Look at my finger! It's got a bow on it."
(Me)"OK, well thanks for your help. Anything to say in conclusion?"
(Es)"Yes, something about Looney tunes. We watched the first movie of bugs bunny, the first one. Would you read your whole copy to me?"
(Me) My first copy of what?"
(Es) "Of this! Duuuuhhh...."
(Me)"Go watch your Littles, Esther."
(Es) "I don't want to. I don't want to see Dinky get eaten."
(Me)"Bye Esther."

Again, the topic drifted. Then I consulted film expert Naomi, who is aged three, enjoys Wonderpets and Backyardigans, and if anyone could equal Esther in cuteness....

(Me)"Naomi, what did you think of the Borrowers?"
(N) "What?"
(Me) "The Borrowers, do you remember?"
(N) "OH! The borrowers are stealers. They steal...toys!! It's a famous movie."
(Me) "Are they like the Littles?"
(N) "Yes."
(Me) "How?"
(N) "Cause they got...tail! Wait, they not got tails. They got tails! Borrowers got toys they can play with!"
(Me) Here's a Picture of them, remember?"
(N) "Yes. Dose ones are catchered!"
(Me)"Do you want to watch their movie again?"
(N) "No."
(Me) "Why not?"
(N) "Just kidding!"
(Me) "So you want to watch it again?"
(N) "Yes."
(Me) "Why?"
(N) "Cause get a video of it!!"


I tried eleven-year-old Ruby, who entered the room and tried to dress in peace.

(Me) "Ruby, what did you think of the Borrowers?"
(R) "Uhm...uh, it was a cute movie."
(Me)""Anything else?"
(R) Uhm..it...was...cre-a-tive. I guess, sorta- but it was a funny movie. Well...cute, anyway."
(Me) "Is that all?"
(R) "Mm-hmm."
(Me) "Oh come on!"
(R) "Look, I got no pants on, all right?"

So, instead of wrapping up with a deep, philosophical view of the universe. (Cause I normally do that , remember?) I'll leave you with those three adorable girl's views. Not that Ruby isn't' adorable or anything, but you know....Mom's only observation about it was that it had some cussing, so you should definitely keep that in mind. And there I leave you. Remember: God is good, getting catchered is bad, and hair-bows on your finger hurt A LOT.

P.S. Looky! I figured out how to put pictures on the other side!!!

P.P.S. Ugga ugga boo ugga boo boo ugga!!

........Ruby will get it........

Two Incredibly, Amazingly and Pathetically Awesome Things

I really shouldn't be posting right now...

A. Because of guilt that I haven't reviewed "The Borrowers" yet.

B. Because I don't actually have the time.

But I am doing it anyway because Ah'm a rebel, and I have two awesome things to show you.

This, was under my teacher's facebook page as "One of the Seventeen Funniest Things You Will Ever See In Your Life. Ever." and teacher knows best, the title says it all.

And this is a link to a rockin'-awesome new blog a good friend of mine put up (I'd give her the glory but I think she likes being unanimous) Give em' a look!

Three's a Charm: A Really Long, But Hopefully Helpful Review of Three Children's Movies

This is sort of an apology. Sort of. I meant to watch the Dead End Kids last night, I really did. I as even going to write it on my arm but I have been banned from all the sharpie markers in the house under pain of death by my Father. I don't blame him, he pays good money for them. Besides, he's not here often and I know where they are.
Anyway, I didn't watch it. I watched Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol instead. At first I as thinking "What will I tell the people who read my blog, I didn't review the Dead End Kids! And then I realized, why should I answer to you folks? Am I gonna let a few blog-readers control my life?

The answer is yes. I LOVE YOU ALL AND I'M SORRY I WAS SO NEGLIGENT...!!!

So tonight after I write this review I will make myself some popcorn, cozy up on our couch, gather my extremely poor attention span and watch it. I promise. For now, I am going to give you parent/babysitter/older sibling types a comparison of the kids movies I've seen recently, because sadly, that's all I've watched this week. But since I've been sick, and my ability to entertain myself by 'riffing' these films, thereby watching the whole thing with my sisters has made me the most awesome person in the world to them, it's all cool. So here they are. Bear in mind that these are not ones I chose to represent the categories of good, bearable and worse but simply ones I watched this week and an therefore sort of categorized that way. Off we go!


1. Fantasia 2000

By far it is unfair to include this one in the mix because ask any simpleton on the streets and it is a no brainier. Of course this movie is the best of the three! You don't even have to scroll down and look at the other two to decide that. Fantasia has been appraised by critics and parents for years, but here is the real question; will the kids like it? I think they will. Most people think that kids today would be bored of classical music since most of the current children's shows incorporate rock/pop riffs into their programs. I don't think that has anything to do with it. First of all, classical is still music- currently popular or not, it still has melody and rhythm and can invoke emotion. Besides, Fantasia and Fantasia 2000's idea was to incorporate music with visual images, so it keeps attention without the Hannah Montana.
In other words, your kid doesn't have to listen to Beethoven to enjoy it, but two things should be kept in mind- one, that as much as I think it's a great one to have in the home, it's really not something that will mesmerize when you want an instant-attention-capturerer. Also, for some reason Disney studios decided it would be a great idea to end the Fantasia movies...both of them...with a dark, scary creep-fest of a number that is supposed to represent "Heaven and Hell". In the 1940 version it's such a mellow-dramatic thing we don't even let the kids watch it. In the 2000 version it's far more do-able, but it still made Naomi go into hysterics and demand that I make the burnt forest grow back. It's a gorgeous, dazzling masterpiece of a film and no amount of over-glorification will ever ruin it for me....In other words, yes I recommend it because it's an awesome movie and a great way to expose your kids to some impressive classical music....or maybe put them to sleep. Whichever comes first ;)










2. The Littles; Here Come the Littles


Bet you could have seen this one coming, couldn't you?

And no, I'm not going to talk about the complicated inner-dynamics of a show I've watched WAY to much of for my own mental health, nor am I going to use this paragraph for some well-practiced Dinky bashing....instead I'm gonna actually sit and write a nice helpful review like a nice helpful adult person who has no earthly idea what Mr. and Mrs. Little's first names are.

Like I said, Fantasia really does not deserve to be in the list because it is one of those critically acclaimed, five-star children's films that cost $20.00 on DVD, whereas this one and the next are (literally) the kind of thing you can watch for free on the Netflix instant queue. But still, twenty buckaroos are hard to come by these days, so who can tell which is more helpful? Here Come The Littles ranks as only a fraction of an inch above average on the "straight to video kids movies from the 80's and 90's" scale. Its for an age group somewhere between the sappy, annoying Land Before Time series and below the freaky over-emotional Secret of Nihm. (Yes, thank you. I know I am acquainted with far to many children's movies.) But unless you have fond...very fond....childhood memories there's not a whole lot for adults, which for a plus means the humor is squeaky clean. Another plus is the good examples of the children- Tom and Lucy (unlike many other sister/brother pairings fictional and non fictional I could name) don't hate or fight with each other, don't smart off to their parents, and wash their hands before every meal. So maybe your kids won't come away with brilliant ideas about saving the world, but they won't learn a new cuss word either.

But if you happen to be a tall, clumsy fifteen-year-old who plays with her siblings a lot, do yourself and your self-esteem a favor and don't let them watch it. I have my reasons.



3. The Missing Lynx



Last and least on our list is another from the very annoying bowels of Netflix's over-glorified collection of freebies- a dragging, bore-you-to-death hour and a half of weird over-done environmentalist ideas about caged animals coupled with chunky video game graphics for animation. It starts out slow, and then just when you it's gonna get exciting....it gets slower. The plot drags like four tons of molasses running uphill in January, and yet, my little sisters were so captivated they watched it twice. And then it was promptly forgotten. As far as I know (in truth I missed several scenes due to a headache and severe boredom) it is family-friendly and mostly clean, with mild scatterings of crude humor. Oh, and it has annoying British/Australian accents for all the characters. Normally I would praise a movie for fun foreign accents, (have I mentioned I love Doctor Who??) but these are far from fun- the slow, deliberate dialects of every single voice makes the dialogue seem as leadenly lethargic as the plot.

So there you have a nice overview and recommendation order for three movies. If your really serious about finding a movie for the family to watch together, go out and pay your mo-nay for Fantasia 2000 and it'll be worth it. If your just looking for something cheap for kids night, go with the Littles. And if you don't give a Peebles what they watch because your not going to be in there- The Missing Lynx is the movie for you......r kids.



P.S. Sorry again about the Dead End Kids. During the production of this post I discovered that the movie I actually want to rent is the first of a series. The official name is Dead End and it stars Humphrey Bogart as a gangster who comes back to the slums of New York where he was from and ends up leading a group of street children astray. I rented it from Netflix and it should be here soon, along with The Borrowers. Await with bated breath oh faithful readers!!


P.S. I realized with horror today that my last post not only lacked a photo of Porky Pig but included one of Dinky Little. So to make up for that and prevent future problems;







Ain't He CUTE, folks...?!!

Me N' Ebert

I have decided firmly that I have an enemy. That enemy is Roger Ebert. Let me explain.

So I'm on Netflix.com, I'm shirking doing my speech and I'm looking at this old movie I liked as a child, "The Borrowers" since the kids have been watching so much of "The Littles", you see the relevance. I click on "Reviews" and accidentally hit "Critic Reviews" and there is Roger again. "Good Lord! That man is everywhere!" but I click the link anyway, and read his review which is about as helpful as if I had said "There is this movie about people and they are small." Then I look at his review of the Muppet Movie. Then his review of Muppets Take Manhattan. Then Space Jam. Then Loony Tunes: Back in Action. And I have come to this conclusion; me and Roger Ebert are psychological opposites. If you put the two of us in a room together I think the universe would implode.
Ebert believes the Muppet Movie is good but nowhere near Who Framed Roger Rabbit. He compares it to getting to see the origins of Spider Man. He believes Kermit's character only really comes into his own in Muppet's Take Manhattan. (?!) Then things get worse. He calls Space Jam "...a happy marriage of good ideas..." I just about passed out "Dear GOD..." I thought "This man liked Space Jam and he is not in an asylum..." No, he is not. He is being payed out the wazoo to review movies while I am an unknown. And look, I know what you might be thinking- You didn't see Space Jam. Maybe you remember that it sold really well in the 90's. I read that. I'm willing to face the possibility that the population at large once thought it a decent film. All I'm asking is that if you think that, go and watch it. Right now. If it doesn't make you want to commit suicide in a violent way, tell me, and I will immediately seek help for my seriously delusional fantasy about what is obviously a remarkable movie.
Not only does he believe...that to be...you know...not...terrible, in his review of Looney Tunes: Back in Action he supports the uneducated view that Daffy Duck is the best looney Tunes character and Bugs Bunny would be nothing without him. I would love to argue this theory out with him in an informed adult way, but due to my lack of maturity I'm sure I would end up just whacking at him with a large blunt object until I forced him to take back what he said, because honestly and truly, Bugs Bunny rocks. Daffy is no where close. Seriously.
So now I'm forced to ask the question; what exactly makes a good reviewer? I mean really, if I wanted to be the next Roger Ebert (not that I do), what would I need to get good at? Is it based on recommendation? If I say "go watch this" and people do and the majority of them enjoy it, does that make me a good reviewer? Or vise-versa? Or is it maybe based on my ability to sell the film? If I write a review that makes you go "Oh my goodness! I have got to see this Space Jam film! It sounds awesome!!" is that it? Or...vise-versa? Or maybe the inevitable conclusion is that movie reviewing is really and honestly the easiest job in the universe because it doesn't actually matter a flyin' flip what you write about films? Gee. This could get real depressing and philosophical real fast.

But I ain't gonna go there. I know I'm nowhere near reviewing blockbusters from an office in New York or having my T.V. show and book, but look Ebert, I'm tellin' ya now- watch out. I am not discouraged. I am both younger, nicer, better looking, (but seriously, does he not look like a flesh-and-blood caricature of Carl Frederickson from UP?) And if you say one snide thing about Porky Pig, I'm comin' after ya man. No joke.








So that's what I've got for today. A slight cold, gloomy weather and too many episodes of "The Littles" have put me in a jealous, violent mood. Speaking of violence and the Littles, I want you to meet someone;

This is Dinky. Ruby had a dream about him and I have been continually taunting her with him all week. Although it has been one of the funniest things ever, it has made me realize a malicious, unstoppably evil side to myself I never knew was there. So I'm making the public announcement now that I'm going to stop before I end up searching the globe for someone who looks and sounds exactly like him (poor dope), acquiring a marriage license, fanangling Ruby into a wedding dress and forcing them both to an alter. A week ago I would have put it past myself.

And yes, before someone asks I do plan to review another movie. This time I think I'm going to try one of the popular (in the 1930's) comedies "The Dead End Kids" about a bunch of kids with goofy names like "Mugsy" and "Slick" who all talk like Bugs Bunny growing up on the streets of New York.


P.S. Well look, Ebert has been making fun of people for years, can't I just have a couple laughs before he kicks the bucket?'


P.P.S. If I rent "The Borrowers", it to will be reviewed. A million promises.

One Saturday Morning

The title means something, but since this post is not limited to that something, I feel it my duty to say that since I'm writing this on a Saturday, I just felt it appropriate.

It's one of those rainy, stay at home Saturdays, In which you either mope around all day or watch Star Wars. You may not believe that the choices are that limited, but they are. Trust me. If your not watching Star Wars right now, your moping, and that's why your on your computer. Be in denial all you want.

For me however, I choose to watch Star Wars with popcorn on my knee and my Dad and Mom and sisters and a cozy blanket. In a minute. Right now I'm gonna blog, and I'm gonna blog about television, because if there's one thing rainy Saturday mornings makes me think of, it's television.

This might be what you call a "trip down memory lane" post, but really since I'm fifteen there's not much of a memory lane to stroll down. It's just that the other night me and Ruby were talking about what shows we liked to watch as children, which led me to remember what T.V. used to be like for me as a kid in the late 1990's. Although it's really a cozy 'those were the good old days' subject for me to talk about, the only time I can remember watching T.V. was by myself. I never made a special point to watch any particular show, and there was no kind of "family telly time" in our household. In fact, until I was about 8 or 9 years old, I don't even think we owned a television that got most of the common cable channels, hence my consistent reference to things like "The Muppet Movie" and "The Brave Little Toaster" as being the fond reminiscences of my childhood. But there was one place where I could catch the best of the 1990's in syndication. At my grandparent's house. As a special addition to all the fun therein, I was allowed to sit for 24 hours straight if I pleased and catch up on anything I had missed. And man, they had cable.

While it sounds like I'm referring to the earlier half of my kid-hood (after all, in 1999 I was only four years old) actually, I doubt that any of these things would have held my interest.....since they weren't Barney....until I was a bit older. But still, Wikipedia tells me I'm not wrong in my time placement so, perhaps I underestimated my love for things outside of big smiley purple dinosaurs. There is one show that I know for sure I loved with a fiery fervency that Barney would have turned and ran in the face of- The Scooby Doo and Scrappy Doo Show. Man. Beyond God, my immediate family and perhaps a few select brands of candy I doubt there was anything I cared more about. It was my number one topic of conversation for new friends, the number one choice of game for my young cousin when she was with me, it was the thing I lived for when I was at Nina and Papa's house on those fondly-remembered weekends away. Scooby Doo still captivates my sisters in a way that baffles me. The show is no funnier than any other average cartoon of the late 60's (the Jetsons, the Flintstones, etc.), no scarier than the Wizard of Oz. Not to mention that the main character is a gluttonous coward. But as strange as it is, who am I to say anything? I too was captivated. Which leads me to the first of what I remember about childhood T.V. - Cartoon Network used to rock.

When I was kid they not only showed Scooby Doo marathons on the weekend (as if we needed more) As part of their 'Boomerang' lineup, you could catch old stuff like the Jetsons, the Flinstones, Underdog, The Pink Panther, Yogi Bear (which I never liked) and one of those slightly more fondly remembered shows, Baby Looney Tunes.

When I say 'fondly remembered' it deserves explanation. Unlike the previously mentioned cartoons, until recently I hadn't even recalled beyond the fact that there was a Baby Looney Tunes. Until recently when I was out of new shows that kept all the kids happy while I was babysitting, when the kids were all hyped-up on Loony Tunes and when I couldn't bear to watch another episode of 'Duck Dodgers' which I don't even have the courage to ridicule in this. It was then that I remembered Baby Looney Tunes. Baby Looney Tunes, the premise of which is almost a carbon copy of the freaky 1980's weirdness Muppet Babies; A select group of the original characters, in this case Bugs Bunny, Lola Bunny (whom I have a weird memory of wanting to sound like as a kid) Taz, Tweety, Sylvester and of course Daffy Duck, live together in a large house as diapered, personality-less infants. Poorly supervised by an elderly woman, in this case, Granny from all the Tweety/Sylvester cartoons. The only difference is that while Muppet Babies is crazy, chaotic mess of live-action backgrounds and romping cheap animation coupled with grating voices and obnoxious rock numbers, Baby Looney Tunes is a sweet, honey-toned, put-you-to-sleep kid's show that's actually for kids. A tad bit ironic, since putting the originals side-by-side it's easy to see which is the Loonier of the two. Just as in Muppet Babies the concept makes little to no sense whatsoever, (if they all grew up together, why is Bugs the only one with a Brooklyn accent?) but then again, their fictional, so that's the way it works. Besides, according to my three little sisters who will be running away from bedtime and screaming bloody murder one minute an drooling helplessly as I put them in bed (because their watching the show- not because I bludgeoned them) it's still just as entertaining as it was for me as a child. And putting it on that one night for them, hearing the theme music for the first time in like ten years was really a trip down memory lane.

Disney Channel used to rock too, and I say that with all the dead-seriousness of someone you couldn't pay to watch five minutes of it now-a-days. When I was little, weekends at Nina and Papa's meant you could catch Disney's ultra-cool "One Saturday Morning" show, which featured among other things Doug, Pepper Anne, Recess, and Hercules. And although I think of these all now with at least some inkling of fondness, the only one I recall actually enjoying to a great extent was the then-dazzling, oh-so-Disney "House of Mouse."

Basically the only thing that made it cool was was the fact that just about every character that was ever in a Disney movie was featured in the theme song and in various "guest spots" throughout the show. The actual plots centered around Mickey Mouse, who was Emcee, and Donald (I forget what his job was but he was scary) and their respective girl-friends. And Goofy. All the episodes featured a musical number and one or two old cartoons.

So there is your brief overview of the many, many things a kid like me could watch on T.V. And although I can remember these with a fond smile, I like to imagine my parents and grandparents gagging at the various names with a look of "Oh, I remember." Due to lack of writing skills at the current moment, I'm forced to bring the post to an in-dignified close this way. Its storming again, The Littles is on (Lord help us) and Mom and Dad should be home soon with dinner. Hopefully the power won't go out and we'll be able to stay up and watch an MST3K. There is your update.

As you can probably tell, the shows I've mentioned here are certainly not the only things I've ever watched or enjoyed on television. That is a different story entirely. This was just my way of looking back and summing up what I remember about T.V. as a kid. Thanks for a listen!


P.S. I got a new cell phone! And gee I wish there was a funny or snappy way to say that, but since there really isn't, I reiterate; I got a new cell phone!


P.P.S. Now here is the fun part! Without making this sound like a chain email, I want you to comment and tell me what shows you watched as a kid, which ones you liked and what you remember about them. Thanks again!!

Question: Who The Heck Is James Cagney? Answer: A Great Guy

If you know a lot about James Cagney's personal life and the title just made you snicker, don't correct me; it's a pun. A clever play on words. I have no idea whether Cagney was a moral person or not. End of disclaimer.

Sigh. Why did I have to make that typo just there? Why couldn't I have misspelled "and" in the middle of a sentence that was so compelling it didn't matter? Why, for that matter, didn't I see it when I proof read? I'm talking about when I spelled "lost" "lot", thereby ruining my joke about Elmer Fudd and my missing MP3. No, don't bother- I fixed it already. But still, I think it killed the whole post. Yes, I'm a tad bit depressed right now. And not about the end of the world for once. These past, like, three days my psyche has been going through one of those "teenager-plus-emotional turmoil-plus-little exposure to peers-equals-excessive need for love and acceptance" periods. I'm all "you don't really like me, do you? You just think I'm annoying and embarrassing and you hate me and the way I talk all the time and my blog and you think Porky Pig is gross." And I'm sure everyone, I know Mom, is loving it. So anyway......if I sound like I'm gold-digging for complements...I am. But don't feel obligated. Dang, there I go again.

I would like to thank all of you for your great big whopping-dollops of suggestions as to my next film to review. As sir Arthur Conan Doyle once said; "Having indicated an armchair to me and placed my refreshment near it, he handed me a long smooth Havana." I have no idea why he said that but since I just pulled it out of "The Lost World" I'm assuming it has something to do with context. The main idea you all gave, of course, was old movies. I am a little surprised, and I'll tell you why. Because I know you want to know.

First of all, I always sort of expected people would want to know how good newer movies are. Like the ones that you still see commercials for, not the ones that show on TCM on "Peter Seller's Saturday" or something to the effect. But I guess I was wrong. Hey, I'm lovin' it! I watch way more oldies then I do...newbies...! I would have started reviewing years ago if I'd known that! I guess if your looking for something to rent you don't care how old it is, just how good it is. Second, older movies are ten times more likely to be- A. Seen and reviewed by professional critics (that darn Roger Ebert!) or B. Seen by you already. But hey, who cares if you've seen it? Oldies are goodies I always say.

Except in the case of eggs. And milk. And just about all other perishable food items.

So last night I took the plunge, got on retrovision (a good sight for watching classic films) and looked by actor. I decided on James Cagney, a famous movie star of the 1920's, 30's and 40's who played in a lot of gangster films, probably due to the fact that frankly, he's a scary lookin' little dude;







But nobody's perfect, right?


I've heard him mentioned innumerable (that's a fun word) places, including from Papa, Dad, in popular culture (as in, the culture of the 30's, 40's and 50's that Ive heard or seen). And he is mentioned in the Mel Blanc book, where the latter compares him to Bug's Bunny's...uhm...New-York-edd-ness. Again, context.

Anyway, the movie we ended up watching was a thirties thriller called "The Great Guy", hence the title. It's what you might call a crime-drama/thriller/you'd-better-pay-attention-or-you-won't-get-anything film. Jimmy surprised me. My first reaction was "Hey, he's not handsome!" (based on the very 21'st century idea that all movie stars must be as cute as Zach Efron at least. And I don't even think he's that good lookin'. Kinda looks beefy to me. But whatever.) But about ten minutes in, he sort of grows on you. He's strong headed, according to wikipedia and his reputation as an actor, and he always plays strong-headed characters. And he does it well. Scary as he looks, his ability to play an impulsive, determined man trying to do...whatever he's trying to do...is even scarier.

But enough about him. The movie is about a man who investigates weight frauds in grocery stores, as in, when you buy a chicken for a certain price and it ends up being a lot smaller than what you originally paid for. Because there was a weight in the chicken. It doesn't sound very exciting, but the man-I forget his name but I swear I was paying attention- is subjected to bribes, beatings, scandals, lawsuits, etc. to get him to stop, and since he continues to do the right thing, it makes him a great guy.

Recommendation? It totally depends. Do you like old movies? Do you like crime movies? Could you watch Dragnet without having an heart-attack waiting for the action to begin? Do you like Jimmy Cagney? If you answered yes to all of those, this movie is probably right for you. I, on the other hand, have always been far more geared towards comedy than...basically any other form of entertainment. If something isn't funny I have a hard time watching it twice. But that's a trait I'm striving to get over, so don't let my narrow-mindedness keep you from watching a great film about a great guy.

P.S. If your like me, and you love funny things (but you want some Humphrey Bogart in the mix) I suggest you watch this; Looney Tunes; 8 Ball Bunny.

I am at least counting on you, Papa, to tell me what the heck the Bogart cameo means."Ooohh!! I'm Dyyyiiinnn'!!"

P.P.S. I really need to scoot since Mom wants me to do...shudder...math. And to think that in three years I will be out of the house, and she wants to waste our last days together doing school. Pity. I watched another oldey last night called "Palooka" with Jimmy Cagney's younger brother and Jimmy Durante, the latter of whome you may know from the ubiquitouse expression; "I got a million of em! Ha-cha-cha!"